Nascent Paranoia

I.

Cracked into the sidewalk

Spread out everywhere

Sunny side down

Dragged under a thick syrup

Of my own sorrow

I can’t breathe

Drowned in my own thoughts

A wind howls in my mind

Orders me to march

Obediently I follow

Unable to contain myself

I feel no remorse

The guilty never do

I wander


II.

Strike rocks against each other

Just to see a spark

Anything that I can follow

Lead me back to reality

To see the leaves fall

To hear my footsteps in an empty hallway

To watch the hawk again

The one with a pigeon

Talons like knives

Preyed on the weak

I prayed for the prey

But somebody has to live

Right?


III.

Snap my fingers

Just to show how brief it really is

A stomp on the ground is more like it

Like stepping on a cockroach

Sad but necessary

Sometimes

I feel like I’m being watched

They talk about me I can hear it

The one that’s furthest way

I could harm

One day I will be the cockroach

Under god’s shoe, he says

I know that

Like a cactus knows how to cling onto water


IV.

Thirst hits me at the back of my throat

Between my tongue and esophagus

Need reality

Just like that

A taste

But I boarded a plane without a pilot

I don’t ever see it grounded

I only see myself

Cracked into the sidewalk

Spread out everywhere

Sunny side down…

Death Unlit

“Red, I’m dying, I can feel it. I don’t want to die.”

“Hang in there Wyatt, I’ll drag you out of here if I have to.”

“There’s no way you can survive with me like this.”

“I can, I won’t leave you here.”

“No Red, stop. Just stop.”

“But we’re almost there.”

“No, and you know it. Look all I ask is to let me die here.”

“I can’t.”

“Just let me die here and help me with a smoke. Can you do that for me?”

“You can have as many smokes as you want when we are free.”

“No goddamn it Red, give me a smoke right here and let me die and go.”

There were sirens in the distance and barking.

“They’re close. That smoke Red.”

Red fumbled for a cigarette. He gave Wyatt one and took another.

Wyatt placed the cigarette in his mouth and held it between his lips.

Red’s eyes widened.

“What? Are they here?”

Red stayed quiet.

“What Red?”

“I don’t have a lighter.”

“Red, I can’t move anymore. Forget the smoke and go.”

“No, I have to light it for you.”

Red picked up rocks and sticks and tried friction and tried making sparks.

“Wyatt, I’m trying hold on.”

“Leave it Red.”

Red kept trying desperately to make a spark using two rocks on hastily collected tinder.

Helicopters whirred in the distance.

Minutes passed.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Red’s hands shook and continuously dropped the rocks.

“Aha! Wyatt I got it.”

A tiny spark lit the tinder and Red lit his cigarette.

“Here Wyatt, here!”

Red looked at Wyatt, his cigarette was on his chest and his mouth wide open. He was dead.

Red placed the lit cigarette on Wyatt’s mouth and held his nose closed.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

He ran.