I just wrote a very pessimistic poem. Its meaning being youth passing me by. I picture the baby goat white with ghostly white eyes, the mountains completely dark and there’s fire in my mind’s eye and smoke but in the poem it’s all ash, as if an infernal fire swept by the path I thought of; then everything disappears. My intention was to write anything with the phrase mountains painted black, and as the words flowed I started to reflect my current mood into my writing. I don’t understand why I feel this way. However, I am happy that I have vacation time right now. I planned it perfectly to where I have two weeks off and soon I will be going to New York City for the first time in my life and hopefully my mood will lift and I will write better things.

Although right now, this being my first blog post and all, I shall try to share other positive things as to not show I’m just a complete basket case. Especially since I want to become a teacher. But hey even therapists or the most reverent person you can think of has their demons. I just have mine figured out and I’m not particularly ashamed to share them.

First bit of good news, I am part-time at my current job. This was done in order to be able to study for my graduate courses in education and certification to become a teacher. The plan is to be an English teacher for high school, at any grade level for now but I would prefer to teach seniors to prepare them for college. Senior level teaching would also be good for me because the material is more advanced and I really don’t feel like going over basic things like teaching setting in a story, or even point of view.

Being part time has also giving me the liberty to have more time and therefore to keep writing. I’m really close to finishing a novella, and eventually I will collect all my poems and create a chapter book. Just like this blog, if one person reads either of them, I’m satisfied.

I have started running, and it’s nice to be out and see the sky turn from day to night as I run I picked to run at the time of sunset to see the sky change, and because I dislike the sun burning my forehead. The goal is to get back in shape and not breathe heavily any time I do any strenuous activity. It also releases a lot of natural dopamine, and somehow releases me from inner thoughts and worries for the duration of the run. I recommend a good walk or run to get your brain some well needed oxygen.

In the next few days, I shall mostly stay home and indulge myself with doing absolutely nothing, then a bit of cleaning, I don’t do spring cleaning, I have noticed I am most active during the fall and winter. I hate mosquitoes. I don’t know why that was the first thought that came up with thinking of summer.

Anyway, I’d say for a first post, it’s long ways from anything I’d ever be satisfied with posting unedited but that’s the point of writing down my thoughts as therapy. Therapy from what? Life.

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